Curious Amari.

My son Amari is teaching me big lessons these days. He’s schooling me on the world of curiosity: Why? Who? What? Where? When? How?  He wants to know it All. And every answer leads to another question. Especially his favorite: WHY??? Why does a panda have a big belly? Why is God the strongest thing in the world? Why do bees sting if they’re gonna die? Why does my body have to go poop?

“When I am 10 will I be a grown up?”, Amari asks.

“No,” I answer.

“100?”

“You’ll be an old man.”

“What’s Old?”

Through his brilliant example, I’m learning to approach my newfound adventure of becoming an artist – the real kind- working in an art studio, putting on art exhibits, making art sales, etc., with Curiosity instead of Fear. My fear is being replaced with wonder.

Fear no longer is seen as fear of the unknown; now I see fear as “knowing there’s something not known while urgently needing it to be known” and the fight between the two. This resistance to What Is unnerves me and leaves me feeling anxious and stuck. Not going anywhere. Desperately needing answers but too fearful to move in any direction.  But with real curiosity, there is no shame in not knowing only total Acceptance and allowing, with eagerness, the answers to unfold. And what is left is a sense of wonder to where the unknown will lead.

I wonder?

I wonder when will I have time for making art?  I wonder where will I show my art? I wonder who will want it?  I wonder how do I make a career creating art? I wonder why does my heart need to express through art? I wonder what will happen when I follow the art and see where it leads me?

I am becoming a seeker on a quest. An adventure. And now this wondering mixes with the excitement of living and walking to the unknown. I will be led as long as I continue to ask curious questions and allow Faith to guide my steps. And this happens when I can embrace that I really don’t know. It is safe and OK to walk through the darkness of my mind and be led by the light of my heart.

“The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates.