My boys birthdays are coming up soon. I’ll be a proud mother of a three-year old and a one-year old. WOW!
I am so very happy to have these two little ones in my life. They teach me a great deal, whether I’m ready or not, whether I take notes or not, whether or not here they come. I am growing and morphing each day. Motherhood, parenthood, changes a person in so many different ways. I’m learning the importance of flexibility and how being flexible actually helps to bring order in your life. Ironic, but true.
I now can actually have dinner ready on the table between 6 and 6:30. A big improvement from 8ish when I had no clue how to begin cooking without another adult around. Being flexible has been one of my greatest tools on this journey. So when the toddler wants breakfast for lunch or lunch for breakfast, OK! When the baby poops all over me right as we’re leaving the house, OK! When I realize that I have left the house with my pants on backwards, OK! When I can’t find the keys to the house or car, OK!
Most of my stress in the very beginning of becoming a new mom and then becoming a mom of two, came from feeling overwhelmed. Feeling anxious because of the thought I’m Not Doing This Right. In my mind, Right was Perfect. Having everything in order at the right time, at the right place, all with a smile on your face and with ease and grace. Just like how it is in the movies. I soooo wanted that for myself. I wanted to be Good at Being a Mother. And I wasn’t. I felt like I was terrible. I felt like I was doing so many things wrong, and I really wanted to be good at it.
Here I am three years later, and I can honestly say, I’m getting better. Evillene still shows her face when I’m hit with the double wammie of being both hungry and tired at the same time. But I do my best to have offerings of yogurt or nuts handy for keeping her highness at bay.
I’m finally waking up to the enjoyment of the parenthood ride. Being the Hearth Keeper, I get to be present for my boys day and night and witness them morph right before my eyes. How wonderful!