Endings. Beginnings.

New Days. New Year. Happy Chinese New Year!

New beginnings mark endings. In this time of marking a new year and a new beginning, I’ve been meditating on this: exactly, What is ending?

Well…I’ll start here: broken promises. It is imperative that I Begin to consistently keep my word. Your word is your bond.

Your word is your power.

And I’m not just talking about what I tell other people, but what I tell myself out loud and in my head. Unfortunately, I’m more likely to keep my word to other people than to myself because I seem to care more what “they” think of me than myself. For example, tonight I said out loud “I don’t feel like cooking tonight.” That was a true and honest statement. But 2 seconds later I’m saying something different because I aim to “please”. But I stopped to regroup and recognize how I just compromised myself. And that’s what I need to end in my life. I must stop compromising my own integrity. I must put an ending on giving my power away in hopes of an exchange for meaning and value (of me) in someone else’s eyes.

I must Begin to seek validation, value and meaning in my own eyes. I must first seek acceptance and approval with me. So my New Beginning this year is Listening to my Truth, Speaking my Truth and Acting in my Truth. It is time for me to Align. Align my Thoughts, Words and Deeds. They must become One with what is True in my Heart. It is time to stop the madness. The madness of feeling mad, angry, confused, depleted and defeated. Because when it really comes down to it, I’m less attached to the outcome when I Live in Truth. And when I’m a little bit of this and a little bit of that, I’m so fearful of what could happen that I exert way too much energy around trying to control every aspect of what I think needs to be done. It all gets really muddy that way. In my head and in my life. It is just time to stop the madness.

It is time for clean living and vibrating higher. And it begins here and now.

“Watch you thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” Lao Tzu