It is time for me to claim my right and my power as a woman. It is time for me to claim motherhood. It is time to claim my womanhood. It is time for me to own who I am and what I do for what I do never defines who I am yet merely reflects what I choose to express.
I am Woman. I am Nurturer. I am Lifebringer. I am Creator. I am Healer. I am Dreamer. I am Giver. I am Comfort. I am Listener. I am Keeper of the Hearth. I am Power. I Am.
7. DNA of the Soul
Aleph Kaf Aleph
With this Name I will receive nothing less than the full impact of the forces of Creation. I restore meaning to my life that often feels meaningless, and purpose to a world that often appears aimless. Order returns. Structure emerges. Everything is tidied up.
This was the card I drew.
I am not alone.
And I really needed to hear this message. I feel very alone many many times. And feel powerless and directionless. But mostly restless and anxious.
“Everything happens in its own time. You will have time to do all the things you want to do. There is a time for everything.” something like that was what I heard my elder tell me. And what my soul heard was: what I am doing now (full time mother of 2 little ones) is the right time for it. Right now I am in my rightful season of taking care of my boys and taking care of our space, creating family and home. This is the time. This is the season. When the time comes for the season to change, it will and so will I. No need for anxiety, no need to rush, no need to feel as if there are more pressing things I “should” be doing with my time. No need to worry about why I am not _______ (fill in the blank with all the couldvewouldveshouldves). I am Enough. What I do is Enough and in Perfect Order. Aleph Kaf Aleph.
Yes, I need meaning restored to my life.
Crazy, yes. That I have felt too many times that I am not needed. Yes, every day I do something. Many things. I do and I do. This and that and that and this. But it feels rote. It feels mundane. It feels meaningless. Then I look to my left, I look to my right and measure how far below the line I fall. And it makes me feel bad. But its time to retore meaning. Its time to reclaim my place and my honor as Woman.
I birth men. I nourish souls and bellies. I make milk daily. I teach. I encourage. I discipline. I direct. I embrace. I nurture. I manage. I cleanse. I nourish. And much more than I can even find the words to describe. Its time for me to honor myself. Its time for me to celebrate myself. Its time for me to own exactly what I do, who I am and ALL of what I express. I may not fit into the mold of what They say I should be. But I do know that I have the backing of my mother and my mother’s mother and my mother’s mother’s mother and all the mothers before me and all the mothers beyond me. We share this bloodline and this cause: to bring men and women into this world. to bring love and light into this world. to bring exactly who we are right here in this moment to the light. We have agreed to show up and do the work. This is my lesson. This is the meaning of my life.
A memory just came through….An interview with my grandfather Gurney Hall. One summer I was doing a report about my summer vacation and as part of the assignment I had to interview my grandfather. And remember his response to a question about women, he said “women are here to make babies.” And I remember feeling offended. Yes, I was only in middle school but I had a clue that women were supposed to be Everything and More according to all the magazines, movies and other vehicles of the Hype.
I feel like crying just thinking about how disempowered we’ve become when we as women believe that to bring life into this world is “not enough”. to choose to be a full time mom is not enough. to choose family over career is not enough. to choose to honor and master the innate skills and abilities that is our birthright is not enough. I don’t believe the hype. not anymore.
I am reclaiming my power as a woman. my birthright. i respectfully give hommage to my ancestors for choosing to continue to honor the call of motherhood. I say Thank You for birthing our family members. Thank you for bringing life and light to this world. I respect you and what you did and what you continue to do through me.
Yes, I am a mother. And taking loving care of my birth children is what I do. and I am doing it well. for in their eyes you can see the Joy, the Light, the Love and the Infinite. In their eyes, you can see worlds beyond. You can see the depth of souls before and to come. It is my job to keep that Flame alive. I am Keeper of the Hearth. I must guide and protect this powerful yet vulnerable flame. For this is the light of the world. And if I choose to “do” this full time. More props to me. Because this is Meaningful and Honorable and Much Needed work to be done.
Aleph Kaf Aleph